Today is September 1st, a day that comes with a lot of bitter sweet feelings. Summer is creeping to a close. The last of the cook outs will be happening. Pools are getting shut down and boats are being pulled off the water. School is starting which means an end to sleeping in & lazy hours. Life is about to get busy & cold again. On the flip side school means friends & sports. Jackets & scarves come out and pumpkin spiced everything is back. But for some of us September 1st is more bitter than sweet.
We are the generation that could never get our letters. Which generation are we? We were the kids that picked up that book in the bookstore wondering why that kid was on a broom stick. Or maybe we had someone give us the book for a birthday or holiday. We were the kids that talked about Quidditch & Time Turners with the one other kid at school that knew what we were talking about. We were those kids that adults gave a double take to because they were walking around with a novel at least twice as thick as their text books. We cheered when Gryfindor won the House Cup because of Neville, paniced when we realized someone put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire to kill him, had our hearts sink when we learned about Snape, and got goose-bumps when McGonnagall called the castle to life. We waited anxiously for each book (sometimes 3YEARS!) & begged our parents to take us to the bookstore at midnight in hopes of being the first one to hold that long awaited treasure in our hands. We are the Harry Potter Generation, and we were the first.
I know many adults read the books then too, and many children came after us. But we were the first children old enough to read Harry Potter when they came out, unfortunately most of us had already had our 11th birthdays. That means that most of the Harry Potter Generation realized during one of the early books (for me it was SS) that even though every part of us wants this world to be real, and even if it were real, we would never get that letter from Dumbledore telling us that we had been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. For many children in this generation Harry Potter changed our lives, or at the very least made it a little more fun. For us September 1st is always just a little bit sad but "why" is hard to put to words.
September 1st is the day the Hogwarts Express leaves from King's Cross Station carrying all the students to north towards Hogwarts. For the last 16 years I have known it was leaving with out me. I never got to hope that one day I would get to ride a train to Scotland where magical adventures happened at every turn. I never got to anticipate my 11th birthday and think about what kind of owl would drop my letter off. I always knew that I wasn't going. But there is no name for that feeling.
It's this complicated jumble of conflicting emotions. We know we're too old to believe in magical castles & wizards. But damn-it we still really wanna play Quidditch! And not the Muggle kind either, because that's taking it too far. Even though we love reading other, more adult reading level, books we still have this attachment to all the wondrous things we learned about & dreamed up while we were reading these books. For the first time we had that feeling of wanting to step inside a book & live in that world so intensely that it never left.
But it's more that that, Harry Potter took all the best parts about being a child, the wonder the magic & the adventure, then it used them to teach us real life lessons. We didn't just learn to do the right thing, that friendship is important, or that people aren't always what they seem. We learned that sometimes the "right thing" is way more complicated and hard to see requiring more sacrifice that anyone want to give. We learned what it means to be a good friend even when our friends hate us, won't listen to us. And that real friendship can never be broken. We learned that some people have good reasons for acting the way they do, even if they are still wrong and act like a jerk. But also that some people are exactly what they seem and we learned how to tell them apart. We learned about standing up for ourselves but also how to lose. We learned from heroes, villains and all the characters that were in between. We can't let Harry Potter go because it's a part of who we are. It took the best parts of being a child & gave us the moral compass for being the best kind of adults.
For us September 1st reminds us that we are not going to Hogwarts this year, or any year. It reminds us that magic is just beyond our reach and that most adults were not young enough to cherish the lessons we learned from reading Harry Potter. We remember all the worst parts about being an adult and are left with a sense of longing to somehow go back in time and give our past self a copy of the books before we turned 11. That way all that magic, wonder & hope could be real for just a little longer.
So what do I do on this day? I try to ignore how much I long to get on that train and think about the children in my life. I look forward to being their crazy aunt who has the cool books about wizards! Getting to live the adventure again through their young eyes & maybe get to curl up to read it with them. Pass on all that magic, wonder, and the lessons too, because isn't that what you're supposed to do when you're the first generation to do something? Give it to the young and hope that it lives on? Then maybe just for a little while it will feel real again. Only this time I will be dropping them off at King's Cross Station on September 1st.
Showing posts with label Random Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Musings. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Friday, June 12, 2015
When You Open the Cover
What makes a good opening line? Should it make you laugh or make you nervous? Should it give facts about the story that is about to unfold, or should it just dive right in? I've experienced a lot of first lines in my life but only some of them really stick with me. Only some of them make me want to go back and start over as soon as I've finished. These are the first lines that make me feel all the fuzzies and put a smile on my face as soon as I think about them. If I am honest I'm smiling while I write this.
My mind drifted off on this topic the other day and I marveled on how some first lines can evoke such a strong emotion in an individual and others just got lost into the void of "oh yeah I read (or watched) that". I realize this is not an original thought, there are many blogs & lists of best or most influential opening lines out there. This is also a completely subjective concept, each list is different. Some lists are clearly specific to the person writing them and some are trying to capture what has influenced our culture as a whole. But culture is also relative and each writer will have a different opinion of what is influential. In this post I am talking about what opening lines are most influential for me. For me the first lines that stay with me are the ones that represent a moment of growth in my life.
I do not claim these are the best opening lines or even my favorite books. They represent an adventure that happened at a time when I needed the lessons it offered to better understand the world or myself. Some of them come with nostalgia of wiggling around on my mom's lap or the couch next to her while she read to me. While others remind me of a profound lesson or turning point in my life. Some of them are only important to me because they were the beginning of my adoration for an author. Here are my favorites, feel free to comment with some of yours!
Jenn's Favorite Opening Lines:
- "“The A is for Ape. And B is for Bear.
The C is for Camel. The H is for Hare
The M is for Mouse. And the R is for Rat.”
“I know all the twenty-six letters like that…
… Through to Z is for Zebra. I know them all well.”
Said Conrad Cornelius o’Donald o’Dell." ~On Beyond Zebra
- "The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another his mother called him "WILD THING!" and Max said "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything." ~Where the Wild Things Are
- "Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy." ~The Lion the Witch & the Wardrobe
- "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort." ~The Hobbit
- “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” ~Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone
- “It was a pleasure to burn.” ~Fahrenheit 451
- "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." ~Pride & Prejudice
- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair." ~A Tale of Two Cities
- "On the 24th of February, 1810, the look-out at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples." ~The Count of Monte Cristo
- "Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean." ~Romeo & Juliet
- "The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend." ~The Wheel of Time
- "Here is a small fact: You are going to die." ~The Book Thief
- "Prince Raoden of Arelon awoke early in the morning, completely unaware that he had been damned for all eternity." ~Elantris
- "It was night again." ~The Name of the Wind
- "I’m going to die, aren’t I?” Cenn asked." ~The Way of Kings
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Extroversion - It's Not As Easy As You Think
I feel like most of my blogs these days start out this way: recently I was having a conversation with my friend...
It never fails to be true though!
Originally when I started this post I had all kinds of definitions because that's the kind of person I am. If I can get to the root of what something means I can understand it. Simply put Extroversion & Introversion are really just how a person recharges their battery. I am including the links below if you are also interested.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/shy
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/outgoing
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/introvert
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/extrovert
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm?bhcp=1
My friend and I discussed several points around this including generalizations when it comes to vocabulary. Must a shy person be an introvert? Or an out going person an extrovert? No, although most people generalize it that way. We both consider ourselves shy but as I mention she is clearly an introvert while I am an extrovert. Having a diverse combination of introvert and extrovert friends we began commenting on how they relate to each other and things that are hard about each. That was the point we realized we have been bombarded with lists over the last year, maybe more, of "struggles of being an introvert" and "how to relate to your introvert friend". It occurred to us that there has been no evidence of such a list for extroverts. Why you might be asking? I don't really know, but my best guess is that the qualities that come with being an extrovert tend to be prized and sought after in ambitious society so as a culture we see them as not struggling. Wrong. Not to down play the challenges introverts face, because if we are being honest, it really is an extrovert world we live in. But when your battery percentage depends greatly on who is around you life is not always a picnic. We extroverts have our own problems and I shall make my list now!
So world here it is:
As extroverts we tend to be excited about the prospect of meeting new people. It's like a whole new adventure & story that is about to unfold. Someone new! And quite possibly a new friend! IT'S JUST SO EXCITING!!!! At least that's what it's like on the inside for extrovert, which is fine. Until the excitement vomits out at an unsuspecting introvert, woops! All too often the energy we are drawing out of this exciting new social situation is far too overwhelming for the other person involved. You end up making a first impression that could be described as over bearing, pushy, overly chatty, irritating, know it all, aggressive, maybe even a little crazy. The honest truth is, we didn't mean to.
it feels like to be in the spot light. Now imagine that's every social situation you encounter ever! Most of the time this is fine, in fact I know quite a few extroverts that will say "I'm just gonna hang back this time" and everyone laughs because they know it's super unlikely. Reality check though, no one can be "on" 100% of the time. Those moments might be rare, but please understand and don't make us feel guilty if we want the party rest on someone else's shoulders for the night. We will be back in top form again soon, promise!
You know you should talk to people, it will put you back in your element, but they all seem so scary and your thoughts start to race. It's not long before words become hard to think of and you have absolutely nothing interesting to bring up to start that crucial conversation. And just like with all shy people this is 1,000 times worse and more awkward if I'm attracted to you. It's real I promise because I've lived it.
look like they are out of their mind. Only engaging in an activity for a couple minutes, moping, pacing, constant phone checking, sending repeated text that consist of ridiculously pointless nothings like "hey", talking to themselves because there's no one else to talk to. All are tell tail signs that your extrovert buddy has had enough! Let me try to explain what this terror is like for extroverts. You want to go out, because there's no one around, but you don't want to go out because there's no one to go with. You can't decide if you should move or just lay there and give up. Then you start imagining that everyone has really impressive lives and epic plans. And if it gets really bad yous start imagining that they are all together doing something amazing thinking that they are so clever they found a way to leave you out. Then the internal battle happens because you know this is all irrational but on the other hand it really feels like the apocalypse. It's terrible! What you hope of course is that someone will come save you from you plight but really all you need is a text acknowledging that you're still part of things.
It never fails to be true though!
Originally when I started this post I had all kinds of definitions because that's the kind of person I am. If I can get to the root of what something means I can understand it. Simply put Extroversion & Introversion are really just how a person recharges their battery. I am including the links below if you are also interested.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/shy
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/outgoing
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/introvert
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/extrovert
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm?bhcp=1
My friend and I discussed several points around this including generalizations when it comes to vocabulary. Must a shy person be an introvert? Or an out going person an extrovert? No, although most people generalize it that way. We both consider ourselves shy but as I mention she is clearly an introvert while I am an extrovert. Having a diverse combination of introvert and extrovert friends we began commenting on how they relate to each other and things that are hard about each. That was the point we realized we have been bombarded with lists over the last year, maybe more, of "struggles of being an introvert" and "how to relate to your introvert friend". It occurred to us that there has been no evidence of such a list for extroverts. Why you might be asking? I don't really know, but my best guess is that the qualities that come with being an extrovert tend to be prized and sought after in ambitious society so as a culture we see them as not struggling. Wrong. Not to down play the challenges introverts face, because if we are being honest, it really is an extrovert world we live in. But when your battery percentage depends greatly on who is around you life is not always a picnic. We extroverts have our own problems and I shall make my list now!
So world here it is:
The Struggles of Being an Extrovert
Was That Too Much?
As extroverts we tend to be excited about the prospect of meeting new people. It's like a whole new adventure & story that is about to unfold. Someone new! And quite possibly a new friend! IT'S JUST SO EXCITING!!!! At least that's what it's like on the inside for extrovert, which is fine. Until the excitement vomits out at an unsuspecting introvert, woops! All too often the energy we are drawing out of this exciting new social situation is far too overwhelming for the other person involved. You end up making a first impression that could be described as over bearing, pushy, overly chatty, irritating, know it all, aggressive, maybe even a little crazy. The honest truth is, we didn't mean to.Sometimes I Need To Think About Things By Myself Too
Most extroverts need to bounce their thoughts & ideas off another person to process them appropriately. There are those rare times when even extroverts know that they have to sort out their thoughts for themselves. It is likely that they will bounce their conclusions off another person when they've sorted them but they still need the time to think. What ends up happening is a never ending string of "what's wrong", "are you ok", "you look sad", "can I help you", etc. I know my introvert friends understand this all too well, but I included it here because extroverts experience this in a different way. When you are an extrovert people around you become used to your energy level in public, your socializing, your chattiness. So when it's not there those people are uncomfortable and don't believe you when you tell them you are fine and they panic and insist on returning you to you the state they are most comfortable with. To which one wants to shout "OMG GO AWAY!!!" There are some life events & problems that just require your own opinions and no one else's, even for an extrovert.Pressure To Be The Life Of The Party
In a similar fashion, as an extrovert there is a generalized assumption that when you are out and about with people (which is often) that you are going to "bring the party". This idea didn't come from no where, it is often true, but with it comes a constant pressure to always be "On". Performers know what
What If I Don't Wanna Be In Charge
Leading right into the ever present pressure to be the leader, planner, or decision maker. Yes, extroverts gain energy from being around others but that doesn't mean that we are all naturally born party planners. Extroverts can get overwhelmed by all the details that go into planning events and being around people is not the same as managing them. Extroverts are as diverse as Introverts and some of them HATE planning, they just wanna show up and enjoy the event bringing their life & energy with them. If you ask them to create an itinerary or make a seating chart they may just rip their hair out. Decisions are hard and that need to bounce ideas off others can make being the decision maker even more complicated. You end up with too many opinions and if you're not a skilled planner/leader then you're more confused then when you started. The need to be around people for mood & energy's sake does not mean we should or are comfortable being in charge.The Dangers Of "Negative Nellie"
As I have mentioned extroverts get energy from being around people and it effects their mood & thought process. What happens when an extrovert is surrounded by negative energy & people? It feels like being trapped in a room with an angry kitten (or puppy if you rather). It's frustrating, and hurts, and possibly kinda scary, and you wanna leave because you know it's better for you but you also wanna grab that kitten and cuddle it anyway because, kitten. It feels like a trap, as if you were being pulled into a vortex of negative thoughts feet first and even though you are grasping for something there is nothing to pull you out. We know the negative energy is toxic but sometimes you can't get away (like at work) and other times it's still less terrifying than being alone.I Might Be Shy
They are out there folks, the elusive Shy Extrovert. Don't worry I've already done the definition thing but let me tell you what happens. If you are a shy extrovert your friends are all used to they expect you to be lively, talkative, and full of energy because that is what they are used to. But when you're faced unexpectedly with a social situation where you don't know anyone the anxiety starts to build.
You know you should talk to people, it will put you back in your element, but they all seem so scary and your thoughts start to race. It's not long before words become hard to think of and you have absolutely nothing interesting to bring up to start that crucial conversation. And just like with all shy people this is 1,000 times worse and more awkward if I'm attracted to you. It's real I promise because I've lived it.Yes I Do Enjoy Solitary Activities
I have emphasized how extroverts seek out people, it gives us energy and improves our mood. This doesn't mean that we don't enjoy things that are considered "solitary" activities. I love to read! Sure sometimes I do it in a crowded room, but I still love reading. I also love sewing, which is quite hard to do with others and someone even once said that extroverts don't blog. Being active and social is an integral part of any extrovert's life but they are still able to enjoy individual hobbies & activities. Sometimes we even find ways to make them social. Don't count the extroverts out, they may be your next best book club buddy!I Don't Actually Like Everyone
As an extrovert your super powers are talking to people and having a packed calendar! You love being around people this is how it goes. That means you like them all right? No. Please don't mistake my ability to talk to someone pleasantly because the situation demands it of me with actually liking them. I am not accusing all extroverts of being "fake" although I'm sure some are. I am merely pointing out that it's an easy generalization that people make often when it comes to extroverts. You like being around people therefore you like all people. Not true, we reserve the right to not mesh well with some people.
When Enough Is Enough!
I just spoke to how even extroverts need breaks, and no one can be "on" 100% of the time but the way you can really pick out an extrovert is how long it takes for them to become so stir crazy they
Sometimes I Just Need You There
To all my Introvert friends, we extroverts are a lot to handle sometimes and for that I'm sorry. I can only imagine the kind of pressure you feel when your extrovert friend calls you up and wants to hang out. You might have to leave your safe place and have social interactions you're not comfortable with. I speak for myself only but I imagine there are others like me out there who feel this way! If you are my friend and you are an introvert, I know this. I understand that a lot of the things that I love are very difficult for you but please understand that there is a reason I adore introverts. You might not go to the bar or a festival with me (maybe you would) but quite often to do the list of things I need to do or truly enjoy that activity I've been looking forward to all week I need to be left alone with out being alone. You, my introvert friends, are in someways the most supportive people in my life because all I really need is for you to be there. We don't have to go anywhere, it doesn't have to be a special occasion, we don't have to talk, we don't even have to look at each other. I just need you there, even if you're on the other side of the room, doing what ever it was you would be doing alone. You are with me and that's enough.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
More Than Just Princess Movies
My loyal readers will be well aware that no matter what I'm doing I like to reflect back on things that I have learned. Along with my love of stories it's surprising that it took me so long to get to writing about all the things I've learned from Disney movies over the years. Whether you enjoy them or not Disney movies eventually work their way into everyone's life.
Before I get going lets take a minute to clear up that for this discussion I'm sticking to traditional Disney and Pixar movies. I will not be branching out into the Disney affiliate companies for the purposes of this blog. Also I do acknowledge that many of the "classic" Disney movies are not original stories but are based on fairy tales and literature from other sources. For some reason we all keep coming back the fluffy versions that Disney makes. Many (not all) people prefer them to the often darker and more grim (pun intended) original version.
We often get caught up in the voice actors, and advancements in animation, or the quality of the songs in the film and forget that most of us have learn some very important life lessons from those animated friends we all had. Everyone of course will take different messages from each movie and circumstance but what follows is a faithful and nostalgic account of my own experience.
***I apologize in advance for my unnecessary references to the Lion King I may have watched it on repeat for a summer because it's the only movie we had my mom would let me watch unsupervised***
Things I've learned from Disney Movies
- Never take the short cut
Like me, those of you that have left your 20's behind can understand in very real way that forks in the road are a staple of life. In Disney we are presented with literal forks in the road where characters are choosing which direction to go. The character always chooses the road that looks easier, shorter, and less scary. With out fail this leads to more problems, like Belle's father who chose the path that looked smoother and far less scary which led to him being chased by wolves and captured by the Beast and thrown in prison. Marlin chose the path above the trench because that also looked less scary and after being surrounded by jelly fish Dori almost died. While these are literal examples, these and many others come to mind when I'm forced with possible "short-cuts" in life. These stories taught me to realize that what seems too hard and scary might actually be the best thing for me.
Like me, those of you that have left your 20's behind can understand in very real way that forks in the road are a staple of life. In Disney we are presented with literal forks in the road where characters are choosing which direction to go. The character always chooses the road that looks easier, shorter, and less scary. With out fail this leads to more problems, like Belle's father who chose the path that looked smoother and far less scary which led to him being chased by wolves and captured by the Beast and thrown in prison. Marlin chose the path above the trench because that also looked less scary and after being surrounded by jelly fish Dori almost died. While these are literal examples, these and many others come to mind when I'm forced with possible "short-cuts" in life. These stories taught me to realize that what seems too hard and scary might actually be the best thing for me.
- You can't expect other people to believe in you if you do not believe in yourself
Good self-esteem is one of the most elusive realities I have ever known in my time on this earth. We all have those friends and family members we can confess all our self doubts to and they will boost us no matter what. When it comes to the rest of the world the truth is the people around you can tell when you don't believe you will succeed and they won't believe in you either. Even Flynn didn't believe in Rapunzel when they left her tower but when she started to believe in herself she not only changed her thinking but Flynn and a whole bar full of questionable characters. Everyone around her was effected by her belief in herself. By believing in herself Mulan was able to find the will to go from the worst recruit in the Chinese army to saving her country from the Huns. Most of us are not lost princesses or fighting off an invasions of the Huns but when I remember to believe in myself I am able to give presentations, take risks, try new things, and really open up to people. I learned that to believe in myself is more powerful than fear and failure.
Good self-esteem is one of the most elusive realities I have ever known in my time on this earth. We all have those friends and family members we can confess all our self doubts to and they will boost us no matter what. When it comes to the rest of the world the truth is the people around you can tell when you don't believe you will succeed and they won't believe in you either. Even Flynn didn't believe in Rapunzel when they left her tower but when she started to believe in herself she not only changed her thinking but Flynn and a whole bar full of questionable characters. Everyone around her was effected by her belief in herself. By believing in herself Mulan was able to find the will to go from the worst recruit in the Chinese army to saving her country from the Huns. Most of us are not lost princesses or fighting off an invasions of the Huns but when I remember to believe in myself I am able to give presentations, take risks, try new things, and really open up to people. I learned that to believe in myself is more powerful than fear and failure.
- The past can hurt
My absolute favorite part of the Lion King is when Rafiki hits Simba with his staff and tells him "It doesn't matter it's in the past!" to which Simba complains that it hurts. The moment is hilarious and that is why people like it as a child but when you revisit the Lion King as an adult you realize that it rings true throughout life. We all have to live through our share of shit. Do you want examples from the Disney world? Name a movie, it doesn't matter which one, pick you're favorite. Bad things happen and they will always suck. You will always feel terrible about it and it could very possibly feel like life will never move on. But it does and as Rafiki points out we all have the ability to learn about ourselves, others, and the world each time it happens.
My absolute favorite part of the Lion King is when Rafiki hits Simba with his staff and tells him "It doesn't matter it's in the past!" to which Simba complains that it hurts. The moment is hilarious and that is why people like it as a child but when you revisit the Lion King as an adult you realize that it rings true throughout life. We all have to live through our share of shit. Do you want examples from the Disney world? Name a movie, it doesn't matter which one, pick you're favorite. Bad things happen and they will always suck. You will always feel terrible about it and it could very possibly feel like life will never move on. But it does and as Rafiki points out we all have the ability to learn about ourselves, others, and the world each time it happens.
- Truly original ideas are rare
I was odd as a child, my favorite version of Cinderella was not Disney it was the Roger & Hammerstein's musical version. I knew early on that Disney was not the only person to tell these classic stories and other tellings were also wonderful. Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White all belong to the Brothers Grimm. The Little Mermaid, and Frozen were penned by Hans Christian Anderson. Lewis Carroll gave us Alice & Wonderland. Beauty & the Beast is a French folktale and we owe Victor Hugo for The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Mulan is based on a Chinese poem as Aladdin has its beginnings in The Arabian Nights. Pocahontas is history (albeit not accurate), and the Lion King is Hamlet. If you haven't caught on let me say it plainly with out it's satellite companies Disney has very few truly original stories. These revelations could easily ruin a person's childhood but what I took from it is this: it's OK if you're not the first. Spoiler alert, most of your thoughts have been thought before by someone else. What matters is not being the only one to have the idea, what matters is adding to the idea to make it better. That's what inspires progress.
I was odd as a child, my favorite version of Cinderella was not Disney it was the Roger & Hammerstein's musical version. I knew early on that Disney was not the only person to tell these classic stories and other tellings were also wonderful. Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White all belong to the Brothers Grimm. The Little Mermaid, and Frozen were penned by Hans Christian Anderson. Lewis Carroll gave us Alice & Wonderland. Beauty & the Beast is a French folktale and we owe Victor Hugo for The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Mulan is based on a Chinese poem as Aladdin has its beginnings in The Arabian Nights. Pocahontas is history (albeit not accurate), and the Lion King is Hamlet. If you haven't caught on let me say it plainly with out it's satellite companies Disney has very few truly original stories. These revelations could easily ruin a person's childhood but what I took from it is this: it's OK if you're not the first. Spoiler alert, most of your thoughts have been thought before by someone else. What matters is not being the only one to have the idea, what matters is adding to the idea to make it better. That's what inspires progress.
- Loss
The loss of loved ones, special gifts, or treasured pocession etc. is a reoccuring theme in Disney movies. In fact the percentage of parents who are lost in Disney movies could be called astronomical! If you ask any person what their least favorite scene in all of Disney two that are bound to come up are Mufasa's death in the Lion King & when Bambi's mother dies. I may have been odd because these movie events never traumatized me but seeing such loss, in any movie, stays with you. Watching Disney movies as a child taught me simply, loss happens. It's real. You will loose things and people throughout your life. As I got older I started to realize it isn't just the heros that loose things that are important to them, all they characters do and they are defined by how they respond to that loss. The characters that allow their grief to make them stronger are the characters that become the heros we all know. Where as those that focus all their energy on trying to have something they will never get back become the villains we love to hate. Once I learned that I was able to see loss as a test of my own character, which doesn't make it better but easier to bear.
- Friendship is truly valuable
There is probably a BuzzFeed quiz out there where in you identify the appropriate best friend to the Disney character. Friendship is as integral to Disney as loss. Heros and secondary characters alike have their best friends and often times people talk about them together more than separate. Like Lilo & Stitch, Sully & Mike Wazowski, or Timon & Pumba. Their friendship defines the roles they play in the story. Just like the saying "You are the friends you keep", the friendships we build in our lives help define what role we play in our own stories. We also see friendship holding characters accountable for their actions. Aladdin didn't realize he'd gone too far until he saw the hurt look on Abu's face when he walked away, or how Flounder continually reminds Aerial that she needs to follow the rules. In the same way we all (even secretly) hope that our friends will tell us when we've gone to far or made the wrong choice. The people in our lives calling us out can sometimes be a truer test of friendship that standing by when they stand by us. But what is most amazing is how we see the friendships of Disney always pushing each other to be better than what they are & succeed. Marlin & Dori are a great example of this, they push each other to overcome different issues and end up better than where they started. In Up Carl & Russell become an odd pairing that is exactly what each one needs to be happy. They even sneak up on you sometimes, look at Max & Flynn Rider from Tangled! By watching Disney movies I learned how to have the BEST selection criteria for friends ever, and that I should cherish all the unique ways they make my life better.
- The power of choice
If my nerdiness hasn't shown already it's about to. Choice is something that's covered in the "Hero's Journey" and you guessed it all Disney movies follow this pattern. Which means there is always at least one major choice to be made. Simba had to choose whether or not to return home, Rapunzel had to choose whether or not to leave the tower, Mulan chose to return to warn the emperor, and Aerial choosing to barter her voice for legs. The list goes on really. Some of these moments are what made our characters heros, such as Simba or Mulan. In other cases they were the choice that started all the challenges like Aerial & Rapunzel. Whether these choices were solutions or catalysts each of these moments have several things in common. First they all required bravery, and in most cases the characters did not think they had it in them. Simba thought he could never face his family again. Second they changed the way the hero sees themselves and the way everyone else in the story sees them too. Those choices is what made Mulan a hero, and what made Aerial's dad view her as old enough to love & be taken seriously. Third, they set our heros on a completely different path from the one they were on before. Our lives might not be quite so dramatic as a movie, I know that mine is not but I can easily identify choices I've made that have required bravery, changed the way I am seen, and altered my journey's path so much I never saw it coming. These are the stories I always tell people and they are the moments that shape my life. That's a lot of power wrapped up into one small decision.
- Be yourself
This is an idea that Disney reinforced for me more so than taught me and it is pretty close to the top of my "hardest lessons I've ever learned" list. For as long as I can remember I was told by every adult in my life "just be yourself and everything will work out" but as the uncool odd ball in school this seemed cliche and far fetched. This isn't meant to be a sob story about how unaccepted and bullied I was, although I was. I bring this up to illustrate that kids grow up in an environment where having certain interests, or certain personality traits, or even certain possessions will gain you acceptance and friends. Which we all have come to know as "popular" or "normal". As a result many people (children & adults) will try to mold themselves into what they think they should be. I am no exception, I spent a great part of my younger years trying to fit in but not succeeding. At some point in college that changed. I don't know if I got tired or I just decided it wasn't worth it but I decided to "embrace my nerdiness" and just do what I like and talk about it with people who cared to join me. I stopped worrying whether or not people thought it was nerd and responding "yes I am" when others pointed out that I was a nerd or a dork. What happened was amazing, suddenly I was perceived as cool and fun to be around. I found myself with more quality friends than I had ever had before in my life and since that point in my life I have succeeded at things I never thought I would. Public speaking & performing are just two. I say Disney reinforced this because as I watch Disney movies now I realize that what I experienced in my own life was happening before me on screen. Snow White & Cinderella were persecuted for being themselves but they continued anyway and it eventually led to their success. Jasmine only fell in love with Aladdin after he stopped trying to be the prince he thought others wanted him to be and was himself. Beauty & the Beast was all about being who you truly are. Elsa could only save her sister and her kingdom after she conquered the fear of who she was. I only wish I had take the advice of the adults in my life, and of course Disney, sooner because being yourself is such an important lesson.
- Destiny is yours for the taking
I won't lie to you I wrote out this heading and I instantly heard Darth Vader saying it, which due to a technicality is now part of the Disney-verse, but I stated I was sticking with our classic animated tales and so I shall. Many, if not all, of the Disney fairy tales see the hero in situations where they future has been decided for them. Sometimes they are told they have a role or a destiny to fulfill and sometimes the villain is simply trying to get rid of them but one thing is certain. It's hard to talk about the idea of destiny with out talking about the concept of choices but I feel like it's more than just making a choice. We are all faced with potential futures every day and what happens when we start throwing around the term destiny is all the options go away and we are only looking at one future. We loose all sense of hope & responsibility for where our lives are going and what actions we have taken. Disney is full of characters like Tramp, Simba, and Pinocchio that took responsibility for their own actions and in doing so took control of their own Destiny. Likewise there are plenty of examples of characters that simply by finding (or re-finding) hope like Rapunzel & Tiana gave themselves far more options for happiness than they were faced with at the beginning of the story. Losing hope is easy these days. Anyone facing unemployment or mountains of student loans will tell you that. And responsibility virtually doesn't exist anymore in our culture but both are key if you want to be the author of your own great story. There are a lot of variables in life that we cannot control but what we are going to be and how our story ends doesn't have to be one of them.
- How to grow up
Whether you're watching Bambi or like me you're re-watching the Lion King for the 1 millionth time all Disney movies essentially boil down to the same thing. Coming of age. All of these other points can really be summed up into one unbelievably important lesson: How to grow up. We live in a world full of Peter Pans whether they are trying to not age physically or they are attempting to act like children their whole lives. As Wendy & her brothers learn we all have to grow up, life demands it of us. We are faced with the very same challenges as our Disney movie counter parts. Not how to save China or turning ourselves back into a human after being a frog, and unfortunately there are not many monarchies left in the world. The challenges I'm talking about are learning who you are, how you fit into this world, and how do you make a difference? If you pay attention, and glaze over some of the fluffy bits, Disney actually does give you the answers. So the real question is: If your life somehow played a role in a yet to be made Disney movie, what kind of character would you be?
The loss of loved ones, special gifts, or treasured pocession etc. is a reoccuring theme in Disney movies. In fact the percentage of parents who are lost in Disney movies could be called astronomical! If you ask any person what their least favorite scene in all of Disney two that are bound to come up are Mufasa's death in the Lion King & when Bambi's mother dies. I may have been odd because these movie events never traumatized me but seeing such loss, in any movie, stays with you. Watching Disney movies as a child taught me simply, loss happens. It's real. You will loose things and people throughout your life. As I got older I started to realize it isn't just the heros that loose things that are important to them, all they characters do and they are defined by how they respond to that loss. The characters that allow their grief to make them stronger are the characters that become the heros we all know. Where as those that focus all their energy on trying to have something they will never get back become the villains we love to hate. Once I learned that I was able to see loss as a test of my own character, which doesn't make it better but easier to bear.
- Friendship is truly valuable
There is probably a BuzzFeed quiz out there where in you identify the appropriate best friend to the Disney character. Friendship is as integral to Disney as loss. Heros and secondary characters alike have their best friends and often times people talk about them together more than separate. Like Lilo & Stitch, Sully & Mike Wazowski, or Timon & Pumba. Their friendship defines the roles they play in the story. Just like the saying "You are the friends you keep", the friendships we build in our lives help define what role we play in our own stories. We also see friendship holding characters accountable for their actions. Aladdin didn't realize he'd gone too far until he saw the hurt look on Abu's face when he walked away, or how Flounder continually reminds Aerial that she needs to follow the rules. In the same way we all (even secretly) hope that our friends will tell us when we've gone to far or made the wrong choice. The people in our lives calling us out can sometimes be a truer test of friendship that standing by when they stand by us. But what is most amazing is how we see the friendships of Disney always pushing each other to be better than what they are & succeed. Marlin & Dori are a great example of this, they push each other to overcome different issues and end up better than where they started. In Up Carl & Russell become an odd pairing that is exactly what each one needs to be happy. They even sneak up on you sometimes, look at Max & Flynn Rider from Tangled! By watching Disney movies I learned how to have the BEST selection criteria for friends ever, and that I should cherish all the unique ways they make my life better.
- The power of choice
If my nerdiness hasn't shown already it's about to. Choice is something that's covered in the "Hero's Journey" and you guessed it all Disney movies follow this pattern. Which means there is always at least one major choice to be made. Simba had to choose whether or not to return home, Rapunzel had to choose whether or not to leave the tower, Mulan chose to return to warn the emperor, and Aerial choosing to barter her voice for legs. The list goes on really. Some of these moments are what made our characters heros, such as Simba or Mulan. In other cases they were the choice that started all the challenges like Aerial & Rapunzel. Whether these choices were solutions or catalysts each of these moments have several things in common. First they all required bravery, and in most cases the characters did not think they had it in them. Simba thought he could never face his family again. Second they changed the way the hero sees themselves and the way everyone else in the story sees them too. Those choices is what made Mulan a hero, and what made Aerial's dad view her as old enough to love & be taken seriously. Third, they set our heros on a completely different path from the one they were on before. Our lives might not be quite so dramatic as a movie, I know that mine is not but I can easily identify choices I've made that have required bravery, changed the way I am seen, and altered my journey's path so much I never saw it coming. These are the stories I always tell people and they are the moments that shape my life. That's a lot of power wrapped up into one small decision.
- Be yourself
This is an idea that Disney reinforced for me more so than taught me and it is pretty close to the top of my "hardest lessons I've ever learned" list. For as long as I can remember I was told by every adult in my life "just be yourself and everything will work out" but as the uncool odd ball in school this seemed cliche and far fetched. This isn't meant to be a sob story about how unaccepted and bullied I was, although I was. I bring this up to illustrate that kids grow up in an environment where having certain interests, or certain personality traits, or even certain possessions will gain you acceptance and friends. Which we all have come to know as "popular" or "normal". As a result many people (children & adults) will try to mold themselves into what they think they should be. I am no exception, I spent a great part of my younger years trying to fit in but not succeeding. At some point in college that changed. I don't know if I got tired or I just decided it wasn't worth it but I decided to "embrace my nerdiness" and just do what I like and talk about it with people who cared to join me. I stopped worrying whether or not people thought it was nerd and responding "yes I am" when others pointed out that I was a nerd or a dork. What happened was amazing, suddenly I was perceived as cool and fun to be around. I found myself with more quality friends than I had ever had before in my life and since that point in my life I have succeeded at things I never thought I would. Public speaking & performing are just two. I say Disney reinforced this because as I watch Disney movies now I realize that what I experienced in my own life was happening before me on screen. Snow White & Cinderella were persecuted for being themselves but they continued anyway and it eventually led to their success. Jasmine only fell in love with Aladdin after he stopped trying to be the prince he thought others wanted him to be and was himself. Beauty & the Beast was all about being who you truly are. Elsa could only save her sister and her kingdom after she conquered the fear of who she was. I only wish I had take the advice of the adults in my life, and of course Disney, sooner because being yourself is such an important lesson.
- Destiny is yours for the taking
I won't lie to you I wrote out this heading and I instantly heard Darth Vader saying it, which due to a technicality is now part of the Disney-verse, but I stated I was sticking with our classic animated tales and so I shall. Many, if not all, of the Disney fairy tales see the hero in situations where they future has been decided for them. Sometimes they are told they have a role or a destiny to fulfill and sometimes the villain is simply trying to get rid of them but one thing is certain. It's hard to talk about the idea of destiny with out talking about the concept of choices but I feel like it's more than just making a choice. We are all faced with potential futures every day and what happens when we start throwing around the term destiny is all the options go away and we are only looking at one future. We loose all sense of hope & responsibility for where our lives are going and what actions we have taken. Disney is full of characters like Tramp, Simba, and Pinocchio that took responsibility for their own actions and in doing so took control of their own Destiny. Likewise there are plenty of examples of characters that simply by finding (or re-finding) hope like Rapunzel & Tiana gave themselves far more options for happiness than they were faced with at the beginning of the story. Losing hope is easy these days. Anyone facing unemployment or mountains of student loans will tell you that. And responsibility virtually doesn't exist anymore in our culture but both are key if you want to be the author of your own great story. There are a lot of variables in life that we cannot control but what we are going to be and how our story ends doesn't have to be one of them.
- How to grow up
Whether you're watching Bambi or like me you're re-watching the Lion King for the 1 millionth time all Disney movies essentially boil down to the same thing. Coming of age. All of these other points can really be summed up into one unbelievably important lesson: How to grow up. We live in a world full of Peter Pans whether they are trying to not age physically or they are attempting to act like children their whole lives. As Wendy & her brothers learn we all have to grow up, life demands it of us. We are faced with the very same challenges as our Disney movie counter parts. Not how to save China or turning ourselves back into a human after being a frog, and unfortunately there are not many monarchies left in the world. The challenges I'm talking about are learning who you are, how you fit into this world, and how do you make a difference? If you pay attention, and glaze over some of the fluffy bits, Disney actually does give you the answers. So the real question is: If your life somehow played a role in a yet to be made Disney movie, what kind of character would you be?
Monday, February 16, 2015
Basically Hipster
Basic and Hipster, we've all heard the terms. And I feel that we are all caught in the middle of this weird cultural civil war. So what do these labels even mean? And where did they come from? Call me old but I don't remember either of them from when I was in high school. Beards, skinny jeans, Ugg boots, Flannel, and Northface jackets all still existed. So when did this all become a thing?
Back in the day there were still groups & clicks that people gravitated towards. That part at least is human nature. We label everything and gravitate towards the things that are most similar to our own beliefs. It helps us understand and cope with the world and it's stress. So in the four years I navigated high school there were popular/preppy kids, nerds, emo kids, goths, skate boarders, and druggies (which were also sometimes the skateboarders), jocks, the supremely religious kids, band geeks, musical theater kids, and the loner kids that never went with any group really. We never had Basic or Hipster even though members of various groups certainly took part in traits of the two groups in question.
Hipsters originate from Portland, OR as far as I can tell and were heavily focused on the arts. But at some point it became more than that to the point where I have trouble identifying what is and is not a Hipster. It used to be beards, skinny jeans, and flannel. But now now those things are every where and are considered mainstream not Hipster. At some point it started including things like Dr. Who, elbow patches, and Star Wars. So now Hipsters include nerd things as well. Does this make nerds Hipsters? What if you were into those things before? You end up saying the quintessential Hipster phrase, "I liked that before it was cool." So here's where I see the difference, no matter what cultural thing the Hipsters start taking over the biggest difference is this: when it becomes mainstream and cool a true Hipster will disregard their affinity for the trend. One thing is certain never try to be more unique then a Hipster they are always more unique and deep than you.
Basics, now here's a new idea for me mostly because they over lap so much with what used to be identified as the, "popular kids". But it's more than fashion trends and socio-economic status. You can be living on a budget and still be basic. Just look for the girl with leggings, Uggs, a scarf, bedazzled iPhone case and a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks and you've found her. I would love to hear the description of a Bsic boy/man, but I assume they exist. It's more than just a "look" though, it's a way of speech, and an attitude of general superiority. If I understand correctly the point of animosity here is that if you don't look the part and can't keep up the image then you are NOT in the club or worth their time. It's like the middle to upper middle class version of aristocracy. If the Hipsters are the best at being unique and standing out then the Basics are certainly the best at fitting and creating social standards.
The way I see it you have two groups of people that are using opposite means to achieve the same thing. Superiority. Both Basics and Hipsters strive to be better than the rest of the population and are not shy about letting you know. Where one group uses their "deep thinking" and uniqueness against you as a weapon the other group uses their conformity as a weapon to make you feel inferior. This is where all the angst and hatred of these two groups comes in but I have found in conversing with others there is always one of the two groups you bothers you more than the other. It is my opinion that the group that bothers you less is the group that you fit in to some degree. To be clear I do not think that the whole world fits into two nice neat categories but I do find that most people are more comfortable either fitting in or standing out but not both. It only crosses into Basic or Hipster when a person starts to act like their ability to fit in or stand out makes them better than others.
It's not the specific trends or identifiers that people don't like about Hipsters and Basics, it's that people don't like to be made to feel small by others. Especially when the superiority is perceived and not actual. I believe that Basics and Hipsters would start to disappear if people did, wore, and were into all the things that they like because they like them. Don't give them up because they are main stream for 15 minutes and don't cling to something you don't enjoy because everyone around does. You do not have to try to be unique, you just are because you're you. And at some point everyone feels like they don't fit in or there is no group for them but there is always a place for you to fit in, just keep looking. The problem with this cultural civil war we are having is people are afraid that if they follow their instincts they will be judged for it. It's Basically Hipster
Back in the day there were still groups & clicks that people gravitated towards. That part at least is human nature. We label everything and gravitate towards the things that are most similar to our own beliefs. It helps us understand and cope with the world and it's stress. So in the four years I navigated high school there were popular/preppy kids, nerds, emo kids, goths, skate boarders, and druggies (which were also sometimes the skateboarders), jocks, the supremely religious kids, band geeks, musical theater kids, and the loner kids that never went with any group really. We never had Basic or Hipster even though members of various groups certainly took part in traits of the two groups in question.
Hipsters originate from Portland, OR as far as I can tell and were heavily focused on the arts. But at some point it became more than that to the point where I have trouble identifying what is and is not a Hipster. It used to be beards, skinny jeans, and flannel. But now now those things are every where and are considered mainstream not Hipster. At some point it started including things like Dr. Who, elbow patches, and Star Wars. So now Hipsters include nerd things as well. Does this make nerds Hipsters? What if you were into those things before? You end up saying the quintessential Hipster phrase, "I liked that before it was cool." So here's where I see the difference, no matter what cultural thing the Hipsters start taking over the biggest difference is this: when it becomes mainstream and cool a true Hipster will disregard their affinity for the trend. One thing is certain never try to be more unique then a Hipster they are always more unique and deep than you.
Basics, now here's a new idea for me mostly because they over lap so much with what used to be identified as the, "popular kids". But it's more than fashion trends and socio-economic status. You can be living on a budget and still be basic. Just look for the girl with leggings, Uggs, a scarf, bedazzled iPhone case and a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks and you've found her. I would love to hear the description of a Bsic boy/man, but I assume they exist. It's more than just a "look" though, it's a way of speech, and an attitude of general superiority. If I understand correctly the point of animosity here is that if you don't look the part and can't keep up the image then you are NOT in the club or worth their time. It's like the middle to upper middle class version of aristocracy. If the Hipsters are the best at being unique and standing out then the Basics are certainly the best at fitting and creating social standards.
The way I see it you have two groups of people that are using opposite means to achieve the same thing. Superiority. Both Basics and Hipsters strive to be better than the rest of the population and are not shy about letting you know. Where one group uses their "deep thinking" and uniqueness against you as a weapon the other group uses their conformity as a weapon to make you feel inferior. This is where all the angst and hatred of these two groups comes in but I have found in conversing with others there is always one of the two groups you bothers you more than the other. It is my opinion that the group that bothers you less is the group that you fit in to some degree. To be clear I do not think that the whole world fits into two nice neat categories but I do find that most people are more comfortable either fitting in or standing out but not both. It only crosses into Basic or Hipster when a person starts to act like their ability to fit in or stand out makes them better than others.
It's not the specific trends or identifiers that people don't like about Hipsters and Basics, it's that people don't like to be made to feel small by others. Especially when the superiority is perceived and not actual. I believe that Basics and Hipsters would start to disappear if people did, wore, and were into all the things that they like because they like them. Don't give them up because they are main stream for 15 minutes and don't cling to something you don't enjoy because everyone around does. You do not have to try to be unique, you just are because you're you. And at some point everyone feels like they don't fit in or there is no group for them but there is always a place for you to fit in, just keep looking. The problem with this cultural civil war we are having is people are afraid that if they follow their instincts they will be judged for it. It's Basically Hipster
When Its Time To Let Go
Over the holidays I ran into a bit of a dilemma. I had received several books as gifts and needed a place to shelve them. If you have read some of my previous blogs you will know my obsession with stories which is part of the problem. The books pile up.
As I tried desperately to reorganize my books the thought that started this bit of deep thinking was, "I need to move out so I have more room to put books!" Now I should probably move anyway but that's a whole separate topic for another day. What struck me about this thought was the fact that plethora of other reasons I should move out seemed so unimportant compared to the fact that I needed more shelf space.
Moving from college dorms to home, and back, and home, and into apartments, and new apartments and back home has taught me to cleanse my life of unnecessary belongings. I've become quite good at it. Clothes, mementos, souvenirs hair & beauty products it doesn't matter. If I don't use it for long enough it goes. Books are different, I can't seem to get rid of them. I think it's because I grow attached to the way they make me feel. Each time I start a book I'm going on a new adventure and I get to make new friends. Of course I know they are not real but for an hour at a time it feels that way. Each book makes me think about myself, the world, and pushes my imagination to go a little bit further. How do you let go of that? How do you hold that physical representation of your adventure in your hands and say "I'm getting rid of this."? Each book holds with it a memory of the time in your life which read it so how do you say, "I don't need this anymore."?
I have this problem with books, for you it might be clothes, or coffee mugs, or ticket stubs. It doesn't matter what it is I think most people experience this feeling. So how do you know when it's time to let go? When this gets hard for me I try to turn my thoughts around and stop looking at it like I am giving something up and realize that the memory, or the adventure, or the growth that each book represents to me has become so much a part of who I am that I don't need the physical book to remember it anymore. I live it instead. If I can do this, it's not so hard to look at giving my books away as giving the gift of a new adventure to someone else. Wouldn't it be selfish to deprive them of the thing I treasure so much?
As I tried desperately to reorganize my books the thought that started this bit of deep thinking was, "I need to move out so I have more room to put books!" Now I should probably move anyway but that's a whole separate topic for another day. What struck me about this thought was the fact that plethora of other reasons I should move out seemed so unimportant compared to the fact that I needed more shelf space.
Moving from college dorms to home, and back, and home, and into apartments, and new apartments and back home has taught me to cleanse my life of unnecessary belongings. I've become quite good at it. Clothes, mementos, souvenirs hair & beauty products it doesn't matter. If I don't use it for long enough it goes. Books are different, I can't seem to get rid of them. I think it's because I grow attached to the way they make me feel. Each time I start a book I'm going on a new adventure and I get to make new friends. Of course I know they are not real but for an hour at a time it feels that way. Each book makes me think about myself, the world, and pushes my imagination to go a little bit further. How do you let go of that? How do you hold that physical representation of your adventure in your hands and say "I'm getting rid of this."? Each book holds with it a memory of the time in your life which read it so how do you say, "I don't need this anymore."?
I have this problem with books, for you it might be clothes, or coffee mugs, or ticket stubs. It doesn't matter what it is I think most people experience this feeling. So how do you know when it's time to let go? When this gets hard for me I try to turn my thoughts around and stop looking at it like I am giving something up and realize that the memory, or the adventure, or the growth that each book represents to me has become so much a part of who I am that I don't need the physical book to remember it anymore. I live it instead. If I can do this, it's not so hard to look at giving my books away as giving the gift of a new adventure to someone else. Wouldn't it be selfish to deprive them of the thing I treasure so much?
Monday, December 22, 2014
Light
Every year I get so excited for Christmas! It's not because I'm Christian and view it as one of the most important celebrations of the year. It's not because my mom is completely obsessed to the point of reminding me how many months left on the 25th of each month. It's not because of the gifts. It's not because decorating is fun & pretty. It's not because of the food. It's not because of the snow. It's not because every Christmas from the time I can remember has at least one good memory attached to it.
All of those things are true, but over the years my love of this season has somehow absorbed all of these and still managed to grow beyond them. I love this season, this time of year because it reminds me how amazing humans are. I post every year on Facebook about how cultures around the world (although perhaps not as consistently in the souther hemisphere) celebrate light during the darkest week of the year. Now days the darkness of this time of year is usually brought up regarding electric & heat bills or depression but there was a time when it would have put a huge burden on human existence not to be able to provide in the same ways for their families. I think it speaks to our true nature that over the centuries we have chosen to celebrate light this week. We focus on its beauty and all the gifts & strength the light brings us. In stead of giving up we as a race pull together with our communities & those we love to remind each other to have hope. We feast, give gifts & make merry in direct defiance of darkness in the very week it is most prevalent. We remind each other that we are not alone, and together we are stronger. Together we will overcome & persevere.
All of those things are true, but over the years my love of this season has somehow absorbed all of these and still managed to grow beyond them. I love this season, this time of year because it reminds me how amazing humans are. I post every year on Facebook about how cultures around the world (although perhaps not as consistently in the souther hemisphere) celebrate light during the darkest week of the year. Now days the darkness of this time of year is usually brought up regarding electric & heat bills or depression but there was a time when it would have put a huge burden on human existence not to be able to provide in the same ways for their families. I think it speaks to our true nature that over the centuries we have chosen to celebrate light this week. We focus on its beauty and all the gifts & strength the light brings us. In stead of giving up we as a race pull together with our communities & those we love to remind each other to have hope. We feast, give gifts & make merry in direct defiance of darkness in the very week it is most prevalent. We remind each other that we are not alone, and together we are stronger. Together we will overcome & persevere.
I realize I have been speaking to literal light and dark, and in our history celebrations may have been just about that, but for me this season means something more. In a world full of stress, pressure and cultures that reward self preservation it reminds me that have not lost our ability to love selflessly or to give freely of ourselves. This season renews my faith, not just my spiritual faith, but my faith in the people of this world. It reminds me to look for it & live it everyday. So as you sit down with your family and open gifts remember to love, remember to care, remember to hope. There is so much darkness in the world today remember we are stronger when we stand together and hold onto the light.
Happy Holidays
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
The Question of Small Towns
This weekend I ventured out to the East Coast with my mom to visit my brother and sister-in-law. The 10 hour drive from Grand Rapids, MI to Littlestown, PA is nothing short of exhausting. That is not to say it is with out bright spots. There is nothing like the rest stops on the Ohio turnpike, they are fully stocked oasis dotting your drive through hell. If it was not already clear, Ohio is low on my list of states to visit. Back to the bright spots, if you are driving this way and have the opportunity to drive through Pennsylvania and Maryland in the day light, do it. It is beautiful country side through the mountains with forests and rivers, it's really quite lovely.
Each valley reliably has a small town of some kind, even as you move into the flatter terrain closer to the coast you will find small towns almost evenly spaced through out the country side. And with the exception of our visit to D.C. we spent the majority of the weekend in small towns. This got me thinking, "What would it be like to live in one of these tiny towns?"
I grew up in a moderately sized city that is no NYC or Chicago but it was a proper city with many of the perks and pitfalls. I have visited many cities and lived in several others learning that, I love cities. They are full of life, culture, food, impressive skylines, and there is nearly always something going on to do or try. I am not blind to their faults though, they are loud with higher crime rates, and people are mostly out for themselves. Not to mention questionable smells. But weekends like this make me wonder what the flip side is like. I really appreciate small towns as an adult. They are cute and charming. No one is ever in a hurry, even the most high strung of individuals are forced into a slower pace. There is also good food, some of the best breakfast potatoes I've ever had were in small New York town. There is always that little show that sells the strangest combination of useful and non useful items. History and tradition is sometimes more preserved because it's not just history it's family. But each side of the fence has its weeds and small town life can not be as simple as it seems.
If I had grow up in one of these quaint little places that I enjoy exploring would I like doing that still? Would it have made me different some how? Would I still like cities or would I be afraid of them? Would I be more of a homebody and travel less? Would I place more value on traditional values or would it have the opposite effect? I love retreating to small towns and I enjoy playing the "What if?" game in my mind but the truth of it is, I am a city girl and I think I will be for some time yet. Perhaps when am retired I'll try out small town living...
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Here's To All The Fangirls
I have commented several times in some of the My Thoughts on Media posts on my opinions about why people now love television and movies and stories in general. Some recent events have brought a further question to my mind. What makes a fan girl?
***** two things need to be said before I continue. 1. I recognize and understand that fanboys are an equally influential and prominent but for simplicities sake for this blog I will be using the term Fangirl, please understand I do not consider it gender specific. 2. Now this is important, all things I write here I write in love and solidarity for I consider myself a Fangirl on several accounts*****
Because sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious it should be stated that a true Fangirl is more than just a fan. More than just someone who reads a book because it's on a featured table, or sees as movie because it's at the top of the box office. A Fangirl doesn't go through "phases" they stay true, their love and dedication out lasts trends.
These are not the people you casually chat at work or on the subway with about last nights episode or your general thoughts on your favorite book. Fangirl conversations go deep and get intense rapidly. You might think this would make them easy to spot, and if you did you'd be right. There are several tells that you are observing a fan girl the first is a failure to speak in complete sentences. When fangirls encounter each other there is a moment of testing each other out before recognizing their shared passion. At this point English is no longer suitable their connection requires a faster and more intimate form of communication: Fangirl Telepathy. Fangirls are also easily identified by the pitch of their squeals of excitement, because sometimes it's so exciting that your vocal chords exceed even your own expectations. If you are thinking that you've seen teens around the world display both of those qualities the last tell is indisputable. The Fangirl Arms. You know the ones, where they wave both hands back and forth in front of their chest & face rapidly as if they are about to sneeze out fire.
http://www.rots.com/video/10837/david-attenborough-observes-fangirls
If this is how you recognize a Fangirl I repeat my previous question, what makes a Fangirl. What takes someone from casual enjoyment of something to cosplay? What prompts someone to start writing fanfiction so they can further emerse themselves in the world of their choosing? This is not to mention the clothing, and jewelry, even tattoos of a specific interest. Does fangirling qualify as obsession or is it something else? Some would say that fangirls have their origins on Tumbler, but I would argue that people were fangirling before that even if the label didn't exist yet. So was the beginning on My Space? Or did this all start before that with say Beatlemania?
The reality is I don't know. But I have been thinking about it a lot in the last two weeks because of two events the first was one of the teenage girls at work telling me out right that I am too old to Fangirl. Whether or no that's true I do it anyway and I don't feel bad about it! The other was two different teenage girls fangirling so hard that they actually wrote a physical list of reasons why I should watch Supernatural, which a good friend of mine saw and felt compelled to add to. I have good friends :)
I will leave you with this list because while I may not know what started fangirling but this made me so happy when I read it. I suppose that's why us fangirls do it. Fangirl (or boy) on my friends!
Reasons that I should watch Supernatural as written by 2 teenage girls & Michelle:
1. Dean
2. Sams hair
3. Sam
4. Crowley - King of Hell
5. Deanmon
6. ❤️Cas❤️
7. SuperWhoLock
8. Destiel
9. Moose
10. Squirrel
11. '67 Chevy Impala
12. JENSEN ACKLES
13. JARED PADALECKI
14. MISHA COLLINS
15. Demons
16. Angels
17. Bobby is a nice guy
18. Charli
19. "I have genital herpes" - Sam in Hepexia
20. Lots of killing
21. Everyone dies
22. 5 people die in first episode
23. Becky
24. The Supernatutal books
25. Slow change of Sams hair
26. Both been to hell like 7 times
27. Purgatory
28. Heaven
29. Hellhounds
30. Abbadon
31. Matt Cohen
32. Genevieve Padalecki
33. Misha Collins ice bucket challenge
34. Puppy Sam
35. PLAID
36. Cas' pimp car
37. When the car turns into a girl
38. Binge watching
39. Yellow eyed demon
40. GABRIEL
41. Metatron >:(
42. Garth & his cowboy hat
43. Things that go bump in the night
44. The time the guy died from eating too much
45. Winkies
46. Meg the demon
47. Megstiel
48. Deans love for burgers
49. Zombie burgers
50. Sam & his vegatabes
51. Deans love for pie
52. Dean with babies & kids
53. Krissy chambers
54. Krissy & dean relationship
55. The wedding chapel
56. LUCIFER❤️
57. Adam Winchester
58. Dean dying because of a chihuahua
59. More plaid
60. Trench coat
61. CAS IN THE SUIT
62. Fake FBI stuff
63. Ellen, jo, ash
64. Dean & Sam getting drunk
65. Croatoan
66. When the animals talked
67. Multiplepacolyses
68. Classic rock
69. Mishapscolypse
70. Cas having the leviathans in him
71. Dick roman
72. Greys Anatomy spinoff-thingy
73. Filmed in Vancouver
74."You don't understand I NEED PIE"
75. FANGIRL
76. Luci torturing Sam
77. Crazy Sam
78. Pie
79. 4,000,000,000,000 Tuesday
80. 4,000,000,000,000 deans death
81. Soulless Sam
82. Angel Sam
83. Leviathan Sam
84. Leviathan dean
85. Halloween episode
86. Christmas episode
87. When Sam decorated Xmas tree w/ air fresheners
88. Fat Santa
89. Bela talbot is rich & cool
90. Ellen & bobby relationship
91. Jody mills
92. Jody mills & bobby
93. Bobby killed his wife
94. Satan is cold
95. Supernatural fandom
96. The casts kids
97. The casts families
98. THE CAST
99. exorcisms
100. Rituals
101. Lots of lambs blood
102. Killer tree
103. Young John & Mary winchester
104. Hunters
105. Dean is snorts!!
106. Dean as a teacher
107. Sam as a janitor
108. Mary is dead
109. So is John
110. And bobby
111. And Ellen
112. And jo
113. And ash
114. And all of Sams girlfriends
115. Sam and Dean in Lansing
116. Pranks
117. Sam as a yoga teacher
118. All the cool monster lore
119. Sarcasm
120. John Winchester/ Jeffery Dean Morgan
Thursday, October 30, 2014
#ChallengeAccepted
I'm To explain briefly, I have a close friend and we love joking about silly, ridiculous, or even just stupid things in pop culture. I think this is because we both work with young people and have to deal with and manage these things on a regular basis. Recently we were joking about hash-tags and spent probably 10 minutes saying "hash-tag" before everything we said. At some point my friend challenged me to write and entire blog using hash-tags and well I'm competative what can I say. You decide if you want to keep reading. #trainwreck #sorrynotsorry
#whodoesthis #seriously #todaysyouth #butforreal #cultureshock #howdidthishappen #mytheory #socialmedia #instantgratification #instantinfo #shortattentionspan #noconsequences #Twitter #thebeginning #hashtags #hashtagsonfacebook #hashtagsofinstagram #hashtagsinconversation #whathappenedtogrammar #imissgrammar #wheredidthearticlesgo #nottomention #punctuation #peopledontwantthem #sadface #communicationchange #faster #easier #isitbetter #thismakesmefeelold #butsomeoneshouldask #otherwise #wewontknow #EVER
#itskindafunthough #hardbutfun #tryitwithyourfriends #neverstops #likeateenagecouple #onthephone #noyoustop #noyou #noyou #noyou #yougettheidea #usefulsometimes #forexample #insidejokes #evenihavesome #CFYIMA #tooanythingforahat #whenthesnowfalls #makesmesmile #friends #goodtimes
#notallhashtagsareequal #suckstosuck #whyisthat #lotsofthings #annoying #toolong #overused #askateenager #oranyone #idid #hereswhattheysay #bragging #inyourface #cliches #stupidstuff #missedthepoint #didyouknow #therewasapoint #hashtagslinked #linkedpeople #linkedsimilartopics #notanymore #eitherway #heretostay #whatsnext #IDK #couldbebetter #couldbeworse #lol #teenswillfeeloldthen #dontworryillfeelolder #askedmykids #askedfacebook #bestandworse #subjecttoopinion #tallyho
#BEST
#thestruggle
#nerdgirlproblems
#godisgood
#none
#suckstosuck
#icannotbelieveijusthashtaggedahashtag
#restingbitchface
#WORST
#hashtag
#yolo
#selfie
#bae
#nofilter
#firstworldproblems
#tbt #wcw #mcm
#bros4hos
#whodoesthis #seriously #todaysyouth #butforreal #cultureshock #howdidthishappen #mytheory #socialmedia #instantgratification #instantinfo #shortattentionspan #noconsequences #Twitter #thebeginning #hashtags #hashtagsonfacebook #hashtagsofinstagram #hashtagsinconversation #whathappenedtogrammar #imissgrammar #wheredidthearticlesgo #nottomention #punctuation #peopledontwantthem #sadface #communicationchange #faster #easier #isitbetter #thismakesmefeelold #butsomeoneshouldask #otherwise #wewontknow #EVER
#itskindafunthough #hardbutfun #tryitwithyourfriends #neverstops #likeateenagecouple #onthephone #noyoustop #noyou #noyou #noyou #yougettheidea #usefulsometimes #forexample #insidejokes #evenihavesome #CFYIMA #tooanythingforahat #whenthesnowfalls #makesmesmile #friends #goodtimes
#notallhashtagsareequal #suckstosuck #whyisthat #lotsofthings #annoying #toolong #overused #askateenager #oranyone #idid #hereswhattheysay #bragging #inyourface #cliches #stupidstuff #missedthepoint #didyouknow #therewasapoint #hashtagslinked #linkedpeople #linkedsimilartopics #notanymore #eitherway #heretostay #whatsnext #IDK #couldbebetter #couldbeworse #lol #teenswillfeeloldthen #dontworryillfeelolder #askedmykids #askedfacebook #bestandworse #subjecttoopinion #tallyho
#BEST
#thestruggle
#nerdgirlproblems
#godisgood
#none
#suckstosuck
#icannotbelieveijusthashtaggedahashtag
#restingbitchface
#WORST
#hashtag
#yolo
#selfie
#bae
#nofilter
#firstworldproblems
#tbt #wcw #mcm
#bros4hos
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